Entry: Since I can't have what I want, I just won't want it. Wednesday, September 29, 2004



Song of the Day:
Maybe by Alison Krauss and Union Station.


Yesterday the odds were stacked in favor of my expectations
Flying above the rest, never falling from the nest
Tuesday came and went and now I'm in a little situation

Maybe its for the best, I can live alone I guess

Maybe I can stand alone
Maybe I'm strong as stone
Even though the bird has flown
Maybe he'll fly on home

Forgive me if I'm keeping you apart from better conversation
Caught up on all my doubt, try'n' t'sort the whole thing out
Tell me that I'm smart enough to deal with all the information
Spinin' instide my head, every word he ever said

Maybe I can stand alone
Maybe I'm strong as stone
Even though the bird has flown
Maybe he'll fly on home

Maybe I can stand alone
Maybe I'm strong as stone
Even though the bird has flown
Maybe he'll fly on home



I've decided that I'm bad for people, I mean come on I'm pretty much wrong for any guy just because of the way I am. I know I'm wrong for him too, and so I have to give him up for his own good. I really don't want to see him get hurt, and people I care about always end up getting hurt, especially the guys I care about in that way. I'm no fool, even his mom told him I was trouble, and I am. I'm so used to always getting what I want, I don't care if the people involved get hurt. This time its different though, I don't know why but it is. So tonight, after I came back from Wal-mart I went to his apartment to get my bracelet back, he was asleep though. After much debate, just ask his room mates, I went in to get it. I really hated waking him up, but I had to. So unbeknownst to him, I said goodbye, and now I'm gonna go to great lengths to avoid him. It hurts you know, and it sucks that I'm gonna lose a friend, but until I can see him as just a friend and nothing more, that is how its gonna be. God, it really sucks, and I really am gonna need strength if I'm gonna pull this off, so please help through this. So yeah, that's how I feel and now I need a ciggarette.

   5 comments

Name
October 3, 2004   09:15 PM PDT
 
thats sad...why do you feel like you have to leave him?dont you think leaving him would hurt him more than whatever you feel would hurt him?

but then again, its always a fear ill hurt the one i love...and recently i have good reason to believe that..
Justine
October 2, 2004   02:03 PM PDT
 
I understand, lovey. Better than you know. Basia
Kris
September 30, 2004   07:01 PM PDT
 
Yeah... If I knew that you were going through these things I could actually be there to "give you strength." But I don't know anything about this, and I'm thinking that's just how it is. So... I'll just help you through this by being here for you if you ever need me. Take care!
Marcus
September 30, 2004   01:10 PM PDT
 
I'm sorry.
Jeremy
September 30, 2004   01:35 AM PDT
 
*big comforting Mormon bear hug*

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