I want desperately to protect my niece from the things that have happened to me. I was very desperate recently and I asked my aunt to keep an eye on her while I went to the movies, you see, my mother had decided my brother should watch the kids. It drives me insane, knowing what she knows of him, she still is willing to leave him in charge of her. I don’t understand her, why does she do this, does she want her to be as screwed up as I am? I told my aunt, because she wanted to know why, why I was afraid to have him alone with her. Why must people always question why? Why can’t they just understand that there is good reason for it, and leave it at that. I told her why, not all of why, but the basics. I told her that something had happened when I was little, and that he did it. She understands my position, in wanting to protect my niece. You see, my cousin, my aunt’s niece, was sexually abused when she was 3 or 4, and afterwards, my aunt tried to protect her from possible damage again. My aunt said that my brother has a right to be able to be near his daughter, but I don’t like it. He’s only recently decided to be a dad. For almost 3 years, he was in and out of jail for various reasons, non relating to me, and he could have cared less about his children. Every decision he has made, is in what suits him best,, not what is best for his kids. I have practically raised my niece, since she was an infant, and I don’t think it’s fair that he shows up whenever he feels like it and plays “daddy” the gets bored, and abandons them until it suits his needs again. It’s not fair to her, it’s not fair to get her hopes up that daddy is going to be around, and then have him disappear without notice. I remember what it felt like to have my own father treat us like this, and I don’t want it for her. Not only that, but I can’t risk her becoming what I have become. I don’t want her to be as bitter as I am, or for her to be as unhappy and untrusting as I am. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how I can save her from him for much longer. What will it take to get through to them (my mother, my aunt) does he actually have to hurt her to before they realize that he's bad? I’ll be damned if I let her go through what I’ve been through.